How Do You Find Your #BLACKGIRLMAGIC as a Grown Ass Woman?

As a grown as woman, do you ever find my yourself looking for your #blackgirlmagic? I do. Growing up, the black girl magic hashtag  definitely didn’t exist and particularly, the celebration of our potential and gifts on such a wide scale wasn’t a prominent thing. And when I initially, came to know the black girl magic movement, it was hard for me to not assume that it was of the kids and for the kids, the generation after me. But what I’ve now come to understand is that it is as much of a gift for me as it maybe for the generation of young girls growing up today more aware of their of how awesome they have the right to be. However, for me to come to grips with my own black girl magic, my own potential and gifts I had to become aware of the like girl that still lives me in, the little girl that wanted to be magical, but didn’t know that she was all along.

What is black girl magic?

Black girl magic is feeling empowered and worthy to be present and shine where ever and in whatever way you are compelled to as a black girl and black woman.

As I look back on my youth and maybe some can relate, it wasn’t that I was talented or capable, in fact, I expressed multiple talents, such as writing poetry, stories, drawing, painting and music. It was that in my mind, I wasn’t suppose to shine or shine too bright. I developed an understanding that my role in the world was to dim my light for others to shine. So I grew up with the habit of only sometime letting my light peak. I would create amazing things, but would find any reason to validate why I should retreat and or be satisfied with the least or no recognition for my contributions.

Working in progress

This is something that I still struggle with today. Today, I have a list of blog post titles and ideas that I haven’t drafted. Today, I have several projects that I have not taken steps to develop and bring to fruition. This website was on the back burner for a long time.

As as a creator, a creative mind that doesn’t stop working, having ideas and unfinished work weighs my ass down, it stresses me out and I get to a point where I must release.I’m trying now to have create more balance, really more ways in my life where creating is a full-time thing, with a regular outlet. Mentally, creating and having an outlet makes me a happier person. Right now, I can hear Lil Wayne saying, “let it go, let it go, let it go” from Solange’s song “Mad.”

I think that in the past, those moments when I would let my light peak, so to speak, it was to release more than it was about shining. As a creator it becomes painful to create something and not share it because whatever we create it is meant to be giving to the world. Period. I created Dekit as a means to that end, so that I may have a reason and platform to share what I create, but more importantly to inspire others to be creators and more recently to support other women ( mainly women of color) who might have grown up with the same thinking as I had.

Awareness is KEY

I’m still trying to understand where this mindset came from. I know it has to be a combination of things stemming congruently from history and my upbringing. I do think that I have been trying to avoid being wrong or bad to this imaginary authority that told me I shouldn’t be great and I shouldn’t shine or out shine. However, black girl magic as a mantra and an understanding is that force to break the spell of this imaginary authority.  Simply put, it’s  an awareness that comes in the form of the permission to be great and to live without suppressing who you are and that can be magic if one chooses.

I came across this young girl name, Shasparay Lighteard on Youtube performing her spoken word piece, “Black Girl Magic,” it hit a cord and it sums up the sentiment of the struggle.

To reclaim your #blackgirlmagic it starts with self-awareness. The good and the bad.

So here were go, I am aware that sometimes I shun away from things that are perceived as difficult, things that have a chance of failing or anything that I feel makes me look weak or out of control. I am tackling the victim mentality, which for the record I resent that title, one because it truly exists and two because it has a tendency to be used in away that dis-empowers a person being victimized. Essentially, what I’ve come to understand is that this habit has been about protecting myself.

What do we do? #JUSTDEKIT

But, F that! #JUSTDEKIT, bring on more perceived difficult milestones, failures and feeling vulnerable. Just dekit is meant to emphasize Dekit and most essentially, it is a call to action that was created out of necessity. Just Dekit represents an authenticity and unfiltered presence to be shared with others. I didn’t always feel comfortable to do so. It’s the unapologetic existence that I wanted growing up and even as an adult. No better time than now to #JUSTDEKIT!

If you’re reading this, let’s be accountable for our dreams and #JUSTDEKIT

Stephanie