As an adult, I’m looking for my #blackgirlmagic. Growing up I didn’t know it existed. Looking back it was there, but I’d only let it out sometimes. That was a habit I formed very young. Might explain why I find myself still protecting my gifts today. I didn’t believe in it enough to share it with the world.
It’s Friday September 29th and I have a list of blog post titles and ideas that I haven’t completed. Today, I have several projects that I have not completed. This website being one of them. These ideas and unfinished work is weighing my ass down and I must release. As I think about it now, this has been a habit since I was a child. I wrote poetry, stories, songs…made drawings and kept a lot of it to myself. I’ve started many things, but have found reasons to not see much of it through.
Today, I am more aware of this poor habit than ever. It’s as if, I was and sometimes still am a protecting my gifts. This shit crowds my mental space and stresses me out. Right now, I can hear Lil Wayne saying, “let it go, let it go, let it go” from Solange’s song “Mad.”
But I came across this young girl name, Shasparay Lighteard on Youtube performing her spoken word piece, “Black Girl Magic” and it hit a cord.
To reclaim your #blackgirlmagic it starts with self-awareness. The good and the bad.
So here were go, I am aware that sometimes I shun away from things that are perceived as difficult, things that have a chance of failing or anything that I feel makes me look weak or out of control. I am tackling the victim mentality, which for the record I resent that title, one because it truly exists and two because it comes from being victimized. Essentially, what I’ve come to understand is that this habit has been about protecting myself.
But, fuck that! #JUSTDEKIT, bring on more perceived difficult milestones, failures and feeling vulnerable. The name Just Dekit is meant to emphasize Dekit and most essentially, it is a call to action that was created out of necessity. Just Dekit represents an authenticity and unfiltered presence to be shared with others. I didn’t always feel comfortable to do so. It’s the unapologetic existence that I wanted growing up and even as an adult. No better time than now to #JUSTDEKIT!
As I write this there is some anxiety building. I’m shook as fuck, but I will not let that stop me.
You mustn’t let it stop you!
If you’re reading this, let’s ourselves accountable for our dreams and #JUSTDEKIT